i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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