I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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Randomize
