Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
