He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
