New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
