The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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