well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
