It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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