i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
