Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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