on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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