at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
