Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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