she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
