nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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