scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
