Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
