Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
