I bet he comes in French.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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