Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
