Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
