if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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