Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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