we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
