Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She bit a glass in half.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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