I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
