Sry I called you an 8
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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