I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
