so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
