Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize