Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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