IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
