Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize