Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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