Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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