Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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