so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
