No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
