When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
