he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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