So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
