i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
