come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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