PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
