so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
