I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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