i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
