I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
