I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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