you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize