If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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