I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
