Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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