After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
