When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she smelled like a LAN party
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize