yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm passing your future prison.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
