dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
