a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
