Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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