Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize