ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he fucked my hip out of place.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
