he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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