What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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