Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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