Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
