dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
