You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
