I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
