just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize