A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we should paint friendship bongs
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