first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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