put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
